Lives forever changed!

Shew!  Well, it is before 5am here in Nanchang.   I think I woke up at about 4am and just laid in bed wondering if I should force myself asleep or just get up.  My internal clock is still not working properly, so out of bed it was.

Kevin is awake, and our sweet Lyla is still sleeping.  She just woke up and took a look around.  I told her good morning, she gave a sleepy smile, snuggled back under the covers and scooted a little closer to me.  She had one heck of a day yesterday, so I hope she sleeps a little more.

This is shortly after she walked in, still content and interested in the things we had for her

She just kept smiling at me (at first).  The director even instructed her to call me Mama, which just melted my heart!  She has continued to call me Mama, by the way, and Kevin is Baba.

And then the orphanage director left, and nothing was familiar, and our sweet girl's heart was broken.  Here we are digging through the suitcase looking for something to help calm the situation.  I found the $10 Wal-Mart shoes with lights, and that started the process.  Seriously, this was THE LAST item I purchased for her, and I felt guilty because I didn't know her shoe size and I had already purchased one pair of shoes.  But, wouldn't you know, they are her favorite thing and they fit!!!!

We found a cartoon that we were familiar with from the last time we were here (I swear, if I don't have a weird facial expression in a least one photo a day, it has been a bad day!) so we put it on to try to help.  It took a little bit, but she finally settled down and then we started playing and having a good time.

We got out the LeapPad, and I haven't really had a chance to figure out how it works, but it didn't matter, because she just wanted to push and poke everything, which was fine.  Then I figured out the camera and she went to town!  SO MUCH FUN!

We ended up going to dinner here in the hotel, and found out that our girl loves her some shrimp! (Yes, Mom, the kind with the heads still on)  She was so cute, I was eating my rice with a fork, and she was eating hers with a spoon, she kept looking at me and then decided to switch to a fork.  Then she looked at Kevin to see if he was doing the same.  The other family from CCAI was also at dinner, and their sweet Maia is just the tiniest thing.  She is just 14 months old and they are first-time parents, such a beautiful thing to see!

Anyway, I'm rambling.  Just so you know, she is just as sweet as we imagined!  Her little smile is priceless, in person it just makes you want to gobble her up.  However, her little heart is so sensitive, and I just have no idea the pain she is going through.  This is SO hard for me, I cannot reassure her with my words, so I touch, hug and try to help her with my actions.  Just like with Xander, there was a moment within the first few hours of meeting her that something in my heart said, "We're going to be ok."  No doubts, no fear, just perseverance with love!  

I've been waiting for this day, always knowing that this is where the hard part starts.  So, this is where I step back, and let God intervene.  I can't do this, I can't mend Lyla's broken heart, I can't erase deep pain that she may carry with her, but it's a good thing I serve a God who can!