Care Package #1

I titled this care package #1 because we fully intend to send Lyla at least one more package, if not two, depending on how long it takes to bring her home.

Items included: Candy to share with her friends, photo album (photos below), disposable camera for pictures of her and her friends, tea for the nannies, Hello Kitty toy, bouncy ball that lights up and a letter (telling her a little about us and that we are coming!)

This will most likely be the first time that the orphanage and Lyla hear that she is being adopted. There is a chance that she may not get the items we sent, usually they are delivered and given to the kids, but there are instances when that does not happen. Mostly, we hope she receives the photo album, so she can be familiar with us when we get there, and the letter telling her about us and how we can't wait to come to China to meet her and bring her home.

Here are the pictures included in the photo album.

Getting to know Lyla

I thought it might be fun to start sharing some of the things we know about Lyla with the rest of you folks! Since she is our big girl there is a lot more that we know about her than we knew about Xander before we got him. In her file she has "background reports", these are in paragraph form and it is a description of daily life and some milestones that the child has reached, it also can give a glimpse into personality.

I'll start at the beginning, and quote a few lines of the description of Lyla from the first report. We've received a total of 3 background reports, and as we wait we should get some more, so I'll share as we wait.

*side note: these are actual quotes and the Chinese to English translation isn't always perfect

From a report dated September 2009:

"..., likes to be in the classroom and play room with teacher and kids to play games, she is cute, likes the outdoor activity,"

In her orphanage there is a program called Half The Sky and she is a part of the Little Sisters program. From what I have learned it is similar to a preschool setting, I'm not sure how much time she spends there or how often she attends.

"sometimes she is obstinate and impatient"

Oh, no.

"she likes the noise environment"

Oh, good!

"she is cute and likes to be cuddled by adults"

Um, second reference to her being cute and my Mommy heart is smiling big time, because I like to cuddle too!

Baby steps and surprises!

So today we got fingerprinted. It is a step that we have to complete, and one that Kevin and I have perfected in the 4+ years that we have been involved in the adoption process. We have been fingerprinted 2 times for FBI clearances and 4 times for USCIS approval, I actually had an extra time in there because one of mine didn't take, so I got to redo them. We have been the to immigration office so many times in the past few years that we have now made friends with the guard/clerk. She has been there every time we have come in and today I made small talk with her while she was looking over our paperwork. On our way out the door she said "See you next time." Hahaha! I bet she will!

Now we wait for the I797 approval from the USCIS, the one that says we are allowed to adopt a foreign child. Once we get this we send it, with our homestudy and our adoption petition (asking the Chinese adoption officials for permission to adopt Lyla and promising to love and treat her like our own) to China. Then we wait again. Hopefully all of this stuff will be on it's way to China before the end of August, that can be your prayer for us!

And now to the surprises! I am a member of a huge adoption forum on a blog called Rumor Queen. It is a great place to get advice, support, complain and make friends, seriously, I really have friends that I have met there. Yesterday someone noticed that Lyla was from Jiangxi and emailed me to ask what orphanage because she was adopting a little girl from an orphanage in Jiangxi. It happened to be the same orphanage, our girls are the same age and we have chosen the same American name for them! CRAZY! It gets even crazier, she had two pictures of our girls posing together, SO COOL! So she sent them to me. They were taken about a year ago, which is really cool because we have some pictures of Lyla from late 2009 and from early 2011, but nothing in between, so now we have some from late 2010.

It was just enough excitement to give me hope that this adoption really will happen. Sometimes during all the waiting it seems like there will never be a day when we get to hug her for the first time, but today put a big smile on my face and more hope in my heart!!!

Hi there!

I just wanted to pop in and say, "Hi!"

We sent our I-800A form off the to the USCIS office for approval on June 14. In this step we get approval from the US government to adopt a foreign child. We will wait for our appointment to get fingerprinted, and then we wait for the actual approval, this will take about 2 months. Please don't confuse this with another form we have to fill out later, where we ask the US government to give us permission to adopt a specific foreign child. Many times it feels like you are doing the same thing twice, or three times, but we know if we follow the rules we will have Lyla at the end.

One of those days

I'm having one of those days when thinking of Lyla brings an empty feeling to my heart. Before today I have spent many days dreaming of meeting her face to face, kissing those sweet chunky cheeks and finally holding our little girl for the first time. Mostly, those days are fun, happy and full of anticipation. Today is the first day that I am aching for her, I mean really aching. I don't know what it is about today, but when I look at her picture I get sad, sad that she is not with us, and sad that I'm not sure when she will be.

Please don't feel sorry for me, I am blessed beyond comprehension. I've got two very active two year olds who keep me on my toes. If they were the only two children God was going to give me, I would be SO lucky, truly! But there is this strange feeling, when a child, that you know will be yours (well, actually she already feels like ours) is half way around the world and you can't get to her.

Before Macey was born (before we knew she was Macey), I didn't have these feelings. I think it was because I didn't know what I was missing. She was to be our first child, so we didn't know what to anticipate. Sure, I wanted to know if we were having a boy or girl, I wanted to hold our baby for the first time, I wanted to know what he or she looked like, but I didn't ache for her. Maybe because she was literally with me...all the time! Waiting for Xander was just pure joy! There were days when I longed for him to be home, in fact there were many days like that. See, I knew what I was missing. I had one at home, who was his same age, and I could look at her and realize that he was doing the same things, only half a world away. Watching Macey made me excited to think of the things that Xander was going to add to our family once he came home. Counting down to bring Xander home was fun and exciting.

Waiting for Lyla is different. I am so busy, although I think about her and pray for her every day, I just don't get caught up in all the waiting as easily. We have speech therapy to attend, fights to break up, gymnastics to go to, fights to break up, play groups, fights to break up, and somewhere in between all of that we have to eat and sleep.

So today caught me off guard. One of the scary parts is that we are only at the VERY beginning of our wait. I anticipate this will not be the last day like this. While looking at her picture I cry while I smile, and I pray the same prayer that I prayed over Xander, "Lord, help her to know, in a way that only You can, that she has parents that love her."

Boring, yet exciting!

So, this is only note worthy because it seemed to relieve a little stress from me. Our home study visits are finished! All documents (except one, which I will deliver to our social worker on Monday) have been gathered! The report is VERY close to being completely written! This means that we are SO close to submitting our I-800A! To all of you not in the adoption community, and do not know what I am talking about, this is a big step in the right direction. We have to submit our I-800A in order to complete our dossier, which is the big pile papers that China wants, so we can adopt Lyla.

In my mind I thought we would be doing good if we could submit our I-800A by the middle June, and it looks like that will happen! Our social worker is going out of town on June 15th and her goal is to have everything ready so we can submit it by then, yippee!!!!

No official documents in hand, no approvals received, but a little less stress for Mama to carry around!

One small step

That's what adoption is, right, one small step after the next? Well, except that initial HUGE LEAP that you have to take to actually get started, the rest feels like itty bitty baby steps all taking you to that wonderful day when you actually get to hold the one you have been waiting for.

It's such a wonderful moment, all the time and effort and prayers you have put in. Waiting and waiting for this new addition to wrap their arms around you and look at you and smile. While everyone watches and smiles with wonder and amazement. (insert large amounts of sarcasm)

Oh wait, that's in the movies, real life is more like this. You are rushed to a room, filled with a bunch of people, you reach for your child who screams bloody murder clawing at the person holding him begging them not to let go. Only to keep screaming when you finally get to hold him and eventually slap you in the face because he really thinks you are horrible. Ahhh, what wonderful moments! :)

Reality, it's not always a pretty picture, but so important when it comes to adoption. Our home study update was today and part of a social worker's responsibility is to paint a realistic picture of what life may look like with the child you are waiting to adopt. Not always pretty, but very real and very necessary. Our social worker is incredible. We have had the same one since we started in 2006, so truly, she is our friend more than our social worker. She is honest and supportive, really the best at what she does. So today, she had to tell us some of the reality.

Yeah, we had thought of some things, but we had also neglected a few things. Do these things change our mind? NO WAY! Just cause us to rely on the One who brought us here a little more. Our social worker is a believer, what a wonderful thing to have in common with her! So when we talk about God bringing us here, and the fears we have, but knowing that if God brought us to Lyla, He will bring us through anything we have to face with her, tears fill her eyes. She gets it.

So, with a few more things to add to our list of things to do, and one we can cross off, our home study is on it's way to completion. Each small step brings us closer to Lyla, and causes us to fall more in love with her.

...Even if she follows in her brother's footsteps and slaps me in the face on that wonderful 1st day! :)