Needing to be honest

I promised myself that I would be transparent and honest when it comes to adoption and the journey it involves.  I want people to know the truth, even if it's ugly.  I want to be able to help someone make an educated, prayerful decision if they consider adopting.  So, this is one of those times when I put pride aside and put it all out there.

This wait for Lyla is excruciating.  I go through days where it's ok, and I can convince myself that it will happen, and we will bring her home...eventually.  Some days that is good enough, most days it is not.  When people ask me, "What's the latest on Lyla?"  My insides boil and I want to shout (not at them, of course) and say, "I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!"  I feel like I am on edge all the time, one word away from screaming or one thought away from a flood of tears.  Truth.

Just like all the other families adopting from China our paperwork was updated, authenticated and submitted to the CCCWA.  Just like all the other families our letter requesting to adopt Lyla was heartfelt, sincere and sent to the proper government office where it was matched with Lyla's file.  Just like all other families we got our "pre-approval" which states that China will allow us to adopt her, as soon as all other documentation is reviewed and approved.  Just like all other families we want our sweet girl home as soon as possible.  Unfortunately, unlike other families our paperwork got stuck in one department too long.

We are not the only family who has been plagued with this extra long wait for our LOA.  We have some friends (who are on their way to China on Dec 15th!!!!!!!!) who waited over 120 days for their LOA.  I have met others online who are currently waiting as long or longer than us.  It is still not the norm, but it is happening for some unknown reason.

I believe that God is in control.  I believe that He knows the perfect time for Lyla to join our family.  I believe that this wait is purposeful.  It doesn't make it easier.  Just being honest.